Whats green, furry and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? Did you hear about the fly that flew through a sieve? What is the easiest house to pick up? How do you make gold soup? By adding 14 carrots. Why do grapes like sunbathing? Its their removal raison detre. Why wouldnt the bald man let anyone use his comb? He couldnt part with. What do you call a fly with no wings? How does the moon have a haircut? It has an eclipse.
Shop Apple cider Vinegar by Bragg at The vitamin Shoppe
Well, you cant say fairer than that then. What kind of dog can jump higher than a building? Where do noahs bees live? How do heifers do maths? A polar bear walks into a bar and says, Ill have a pineapple juice. The barman replies, Why the big pause? I dont know, says the polar bear. Ive always had them. Did you hear about the red ship which collided with the blue ship? Both crews were marooned. What do you call a midget clairvoyant who has escaped from prison? A small medium at dynamic large.
he burps? He issues a royal pardon. Doctor, doctor, i keep thinking Im a wheelbarrow. Dont let people push you around. Whats blue and fluffy? What do you call a three-legged donkey? Doctor, doctor, i cant pronounce my Fs, Ts.
The Science - neostrata neostrata
What do you call a fish with no eye? Why did the scientist put a knocker on his front door? He wanted to win a no-bell prize. What did one mountain say to the other after an earthquake? Its not my fault. Did huidzorg you hear about the restaurant on the moon? It has great food, but no atmosphere. What is green and has wheels? I lied about the wheels. Why did the cannibal have indigestion?
He knew a short cut. Doctor, doctor, i keep seeing cartoon animals who talk. It sounds as if youre suffering from Disney. What are santas little helpers called? Did you hear about the cement lorry that collided with a police van? Five hardened criminals escaped. How did the pig get to the hospital? Two television sets got married. The reception was fantastic. What would happen if you ate yeast and polish? Youd rise and shine.
He kept pinching things. How do you know when the teddy bears picnic has finished? . Because theyre all stuffed. Whats green and sings? What did Snow White say when she dropped off her camera film to be developed? Some day my prints will come. How do dogs like their eggs? Why didnt the skeleton go to the party? Because he had no body to go with. How did the hairdresser win the race?
Iv forum sektora wołowiny - o zakazie uboju rytualnegoDoctor, doctor, ive got only 59 seconds to live. Just a minute please. Where do baby apes sleep? Police have apprehended two children — the first was eating batteries and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let off the other. Did you hear about the cowardly book? It had no spine. Why did the tree barbarum fail its exams? What has 50 legs, but cant walk? What sits on the bottom of the ocean and twitches? Why was the crab arrested?
What did one hat say to the other hat? You wait here and Ill go on a head. Have you heard the story about the broken pencil? It had no point. My wife got angry when I spilt the coffee. She called it grounds for divorce. Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head? From a distance it looked like a hare. What did the big telephone say to the little telephone? Youre too young to be engaged.
As survey finds even bad jokes make us laugh, here are the
What wobbles as it flies? Two fish were in a tank. One turns to the other and says: do you know how to drive this thing? How do you kill a circus? Go number for the juggler. How does a witch style her hair? What is the most military day of the year? Why do pigs make good spies? Theyre excellent at going in-hog-nito. What do you get if you cross a parrot and a crocodile? An animal that talks your head off.
Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down the lane and turned into a farm. What is a porcupines favourite food? Why dont vampires like computers? They hate anything new-fangled. What did one snowman say to quality the other snowman? Can you smell carrot? What did the Spanish farmer say to his chickens? What do deaf fish wear? What does Darth Vader say to get people to remember his birthday? May the fourth be with you.
The gloriously groan-worthy gags from 40 years of Radio
Ever wondered why you cant stop laughing at bad jokes? A new study claims youre not alone. One in four of us just cant help but giggle at even the most cringeworthy punchline. So, to see how susceptible you are, claire cohen has compiled a selection of the worst. Knock knock Whos huid there? How long have you been a cowboy? What kind of monkey can fly? A hot air baboon. What is a sentence with the word politics in it? My parrot swallowed an alarm clock and now poli-tics.